so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
