Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
