I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just found puke in my bra..
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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