Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
are you so shy because you have an std?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Randomize
