So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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