Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
