You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
