I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Randomize
