My hand turned me down
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
