is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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