My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
