Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
