2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
