i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Randomize
