you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
