first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.