He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.