Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed

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  (303): A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed http://tfl.nu/q5pw
  Replies (7) Good night (1610) Bad night (510)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.

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  (281): Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills. http://tfl.nu/z224
  Replies (11) Good night (887) Bad night (500)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.

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  (217): The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again. http://tfl.nu/eq2e
  Replies (26) Good night (7855) Bad night (1000)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.

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  (757): I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it. http://tfl.nu/1fpc
  Replies (23) Good night (3481) Bad night (848)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  well i fucked her too, so yes.

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  (484): just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested? (610): well i fucked her too, so yes. http://tfl.nu/6v2h
  Replies (91) Good night (1469) Bad night (9041)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties

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  (360): I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties http://tfl.nu/4hbe
  Replies (10) Good night (3927) Bad night (1305)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.

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  (301): Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover. http://tfl.nu/klzl
  Replies (21) Good night (6281) Bad night (1266)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner

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  (905): It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner http://tfl.nu/bz5d
  Replies (11) Good night (4947) Bad night (1784)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....

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  (717): I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday.... http://tfl.nu/1vhm
  Replies (4) Good night (1685) Bad night (672)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.

  (817): View more from Texas

  I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot

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  (270): The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys. (817): I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot http://tfl.nu/5unc
  Replies (2) Good night (1353) Bad night (643)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.

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  (224): Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God. http://tfl.nu/uf0o
  Replies (0) Good night (896) Bad night (841)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.

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  (570): it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing. http://tfl.nu/57qo
  Replies (4) Good night (876) Bad night (427)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose

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  (503): I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose http://tfl.nu/4w95
  Replies (3) Good night (705) Bad night (436)
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  (650): View more from California

  I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.

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  (650): I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night. http://tfl.nu/uq34
  Replies (3) Good night (828) Bad night (419)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.

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  (304): I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned. http://tfl.nu/jnka
  Replies (5) Good night (774) Bad night (254)

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