If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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