i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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