I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize