dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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