guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
