he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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