we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Randomize
