you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
