So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
