you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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