Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
