Pappa wants mamma naked
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
