Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I think I sprained my soul last night
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
