even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
