i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
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She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
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Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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