im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Randomize
