tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize