have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
