If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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