i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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