so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
