just come out here and I will go home with you...
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
