ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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