This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
