Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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