Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I stole a fireplace last night.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
