what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
