Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
