now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
