i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
its not stalking. its research.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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