Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
