awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
