did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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