Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
