how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
