Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
