My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.