Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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