You work out of a Hotel?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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