You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
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I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
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My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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