I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
