Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
