i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
