He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
