This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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